Tina Rae Collins
Author, Proofreader, and Copy Editor
Your hair is too short, and your blouse is too low.
You shouldn't wear pants to this service, you know.
I think that I noticed as we bowed to pray--
Your head was not lowered in quite the right way.
And, hey, did you sing the last verse of that song?
I thought that you didn't (but I could be wrong).
I think that the preacher was talking to you.
He mentioned some sins that I know that you do.
And, oh, did you notice that Sue is not here?
She claims to be sick; but she's lying, I fear.
Did you hear the latest on Allison Nunn?
She went to the beach and lay out in the sun!
Would you look at that--how she's staring at Gene!
His wife should take notice, you know what I mean?
Oh, no, I can't visit Old Sister Marie.
The smell in her house is too pungent for me.
You'd think she would clean it--with guests coming by.
I can't understand it. (God knows that I try.)
I tolerate others, and try to forgive;
But it is disgraceful how some Christians live!
Well, dear, I must go now and open the bar.
You know how impatient my customers are.
I don't understand what they see in the drink.
Some day God will punish them sorely, I think.
I've just enough time to play lottery's Star,
And get my new tattoo right next to the bar.
Now pin up the hem on this skirt--that's just right.
I'll let it down easy for service tonight.
If only more Christians would do what is right,
They'd join me in heaven and share in my light.
But Jesus said only the good will get through.
I'm glad that I'm going. Too bad about you.
Tina Rae Collins
Return to Poetry
Check Out the "Emily" Series of Books for Young Readers!
Needing good books for your young readers? Check out my "Emily" series. Intriguing, witty, suspenseful 100-page novels set in the mid-1900s in the Appalachian Mountains of eastern Kentucky, these books delight young readers while subtly and gently teaching a moral lesson about honesty, good judgment, prejudice, faith, and more. Best for readers from 7 to 13 years of age.
If you already have these books, maybe you will be interested in the books mentioned below.
"I can't believe I'm so interested in the lives of CHICKENS!"
That's what Lucy H said when she started reading Tales from the Coop. Want to find out what she found to cause her to also say that this is my best book ever? Check it out here: Tales from the Coop by Tina Collins and James Johnson--you won't believe the adventures and antics these chickens get caught up in; but they learn some valuable lessons, and so will your young reader.
Stop the World and Get off for a Little While
If you've been through a divorce you will identify with the woman in When Angels Cry. This is a fictional account of a real divorce. You know the heartache. You know the misery. You know the rage. You know the insanity. Take a break from reality, relax with a cup of hot chocolate, and get lost in someone else's troubles. You know it'll make you feel at least a little bit better to know you aren't alone. Escape now: When Angels Cry
Need Something to Read in the Bathroom?
What About Brian is a collection of twenty spiritual articles that can usually be read in one "sitting." Some titles are "Broken Salmon," "A Cookie Cutter World," and "Standing in a Deep, Dark Pit." This book makes a great gift for a sick or shut-in friend. Read one of the articles now: What About Brian
Need Old Handwritten Sermons or Articles Made Electronic?
I know most of us have handwritten material that we wish we had on our computer but are too lazy or don't have the time or energy to devote to typing them up. Well, I would be happy to be of service to you in this regard. Contact me at mykentuckybooks@gmail.com for pricing.
