Tina Rae Collins
Author, Proofreader, and Copy Editor
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WHY GOD MADE MOMS
 Answers given by second-grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3 God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. What kind of little girl was your mom? 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot. 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goofball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad. What's the difference between moms & dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 4. Moms have magic--they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. Author unknown to me |
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Needing good books for your young readers? Check out my "Emily" series. Intriguing, witty, suspenseful 100-page novels set in the mid-1900s in the Appalachian Mountains of eastern Kentucky, these books delight young readers while subtly and gently teaching a moral lesson about honesty, good judgment, prejudice, faith, and more. Best for readers from 7 to 13 years of age.
If you already have these books, maybe you will be interested in the books mentioned below.
"I can't believe I'm so interested in the lives of CHICKENS!"
That's what Lucy H said when she started reading Tales from the Coop. Want to find out what she found to cause her to also say that this is my best book ever? Check it out here: Tales from the Coop by Tina Collins and James Johnson--you won't believe the adventures and antics these chickens get caught up in; but they learn some valuable lessons, and so will your young reader.
Stop the World and Get off for a Little While
If you've been through a divorce you will identify with the woman in When Angels Cry. This is a fictional account of a real divorce. You know the heartache. You know the misery. You know the rage. You know the insanity. Take a break from reality, relax with a cup of hot chocolate, and get lost in someone else's troubles. You know it'll make you feel at least a little bit better to know you aren't alone. Escape now: When Angels Cry
Need Something to Read in the Bathroom?
What About Brian is a collection of twenty spiritual articles that can usually be read in one "sitting." Some titles are "Broken Salmon," "A Cookie Cutter World," and "Standing in a Deep, Dark Pit." This book makes a great gift for a sick or shut-in friend. Read one of the articles now: What About Brian
Need Old Handwritten Sermons or Articles Made Electronic?
I know most of us have handwritten material that we wish we had on our computer but are too lazy or don't have the time or energy to devote to typing them up. Well, I would be happy to be of service to you in this regard. Contact me at mykentuckybooks@gmail.com for pricing.
