Tina Rae Collins
Author, Proofreader, and Copy Editor
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CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything: cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. Then maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, the man agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyer delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home. And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? (Received in e-mail; author unknown.) |
Check Out the "Emily" Series of Books for Young Readers!
Needing good books for your young readers? Check out my "Emily" series. Intriguing, witty, suspenseful 100-page novels set in the mid-1900s in the Appalachian Mountains of eastern Kentucky, these books delight young readers while subtly and gently teaching a moral lesson about honesty, good judgment, prejudice, faith, and more. Best for readers from 7 to 13 years of age.
If you already have these books, maybe you will be interested in the books mentioned below.
"I can't believe I'm so interested in the lives of CHICKENS!"
That's what Lucy H said when she started reading Tales from the Coop. Want to find out what she found to cause her to also say that this is my best book ever? Check it out here: Tales from the Coop by Tina Collins and James Johnson--you won't believe the adventures and antics these chickens get caught up in; but they learn some valuable lessons, and so will your young reader.
Stop the World and Get off for a Little While
If you've been through a divorce you will identify with the woman in When Angels Cry. This is a fictional account of a real divorce. You know the heartache. You know the misery. You know the rage. You know the insanity. Take a break from reality, relax with a cup of hot chocolate, and get lost in someone else's troubles. You know it'll make you feel at least a little bit better to know you aren't alone. Escape now: When Angels Cry
Need Something to Read in the Bathroom?
What About Brian is a collection of twenty spiritual articles that can usually be read in one "sitting." Some titles are "Broken Salmon," "A Cookie Cutter World," and "Standing in a Deep, Dark Pit." This book makes a great gift for a sick or shut-in friend. Read one of the articles now: What About Brian
Need Old Handwritten Sermons or Articles Made Electronic?
I know most of us have handwritten material that we wish we had on our computer but are too lazy or don't have the time or energy to devote to typing them up. Well, I would be happy to be of service to you in this regard. Contact me at mykentuckybooks@gmail.com for pricing.
