You might be a member of the Church of Christ if . . .

(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy of "Redneck" joke fame)

 

        You might be a member of the Church of Christ . . .

  • If you know exactly what song I'm talking about when I ask you to turn to number 728b.
  • If you could recite all the books of the Bible before you could even read them.
  • If you know the first and third verse of nearly every song.
  • If you actually know what a "ready recollection" is and have been thoroughly "guide-guard-and-directed" all your life. (If you're really a member, you know that "guide-guard-and-directed" must be followed by "and-bring-us-back-at-the-next-appointed-time.")
  • If you think the Bible questions on "Jeopardy" are way too easy.
  • If you decide which Bible translation to use based on how Acts 2:38 reads.
  • If you immediately reach for your wallet when you hear the phrase, "Now, separate and apart from the Lord's Supper.... "
  • If you know all the words to all the verses of "Trust and Obey."
  • If you've ever ridden a JOY bus. (And, of course, you know that JOY stands for "Jesus" first, "Others" second, and "Yourself" last.)
  • If, when you're happy and you know it, you clap your hands, stomp your feet, and say "Amen!"
  • If you've ever carried your Bible in an empty casserole dish.
  • If you brought that casserole dish to the last fellowship meal, and the main ingredient in it was cream of mushroom soup.
  • If you've ever wondered who Ebon Pinion was. 
  •  If you've never been to a church that wasn't named after the street it was on, or named after the small town it was in.
  • If you've been to a wedding or a funeral where the invitation was offered.
  • If you've stood for thirteen verses of "Just As I Am" with the last stanza sung softly.

     Author unknown to me