Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on June 22, 2008 at 3:27 PM
My baby turned twenty-one this morning, June 22, 2008. That's right, she's still my baby even though she is twenty-one and even though she will have been married two years come June 26.
This is a day I dreaded when my children were young. I wanted them to stay young forever. But once they got older and started making decisions on their own, I have looked forward to this day with the anticipation of knowing that, by the grace of God, I brought them all to maturity and didn't let any of them fall down a well or get struck by lightning or be eaten by a giant spider.
You worry about those things, you know. And not all mothers are as blessed as I have been. My heart goes out to any mother who has lost a child. From the moment her first child enters the world, a woman never ceases to concern herself with his welfare. I cried for two hours when Seth (my oldest) went away to college. He still doesn't know that.
I don't think a woman knows what true, heartfelt, self-sacrificing, unconditional love is until she has a child. Then her heart gets wrapped into so many tangles around that child that nothing could ever free her of that bond. And each new child brings even more new tangles until a woman's heart is like millions of thin silver chains that have been kept in the same box for many years. Nothing is ever going to set all those tangles free.
This is my notice to my four children and to the world that I am free. Beginning at 1:29 a.m. Eastern time this morning I was emancipated. I am not responsible for any "debts" incurred by anyone other than me. I have spent close to thirty years (Seth is twenty-eight, Aaron twenty-six, and Rebecca twenty-three) feeling responsibility for another human being. But from this day forward I am responsible for only myself.
I am free of responsibility, but that doesn't change my love. And no matter where my children go or what they do, my love will never weaken, never get old, never grow weary. I want my children to spread their wings and fly--even if flying means flying away. I want them to dance, even if they dance on my heart.
Love never fails. But it's nice to be free of responsibility. And I'm confident that my children can all take care of themselves now. That makes today a very special, exciting day. Happy birthday, Rachel!
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on February 19, 2008 at 11:15 PM
Well, after all these months--with me pointing to myself so many times
and saying "Grammy" that Jonathan points to himself when I say, "Can
you say Grammy?"--he has finally called me something. I thought he had
yesterday when he colored on a picture and said, "An Rah Rah" (Aunt Rachel) and then
colored again and said something I thought might be referring to me.
Then today Rebecca told me that he was indeed saying my name because he
was talking about us again today before we came to see him and he said
An Rah Rah again and said the same thing he had said yesterday. So
she knew he was referring to me.
I had tried to get him to say Ma (thinking it would be easy for him). But that didn't work, so I kept calling myself Grammy. I thought eventually he might say Gammy or even Gummy. Maybe even Gum Gum.
no, what Jonathan has chosen to call his loving grandmother is . . . Dum Dum.
But that's okay. At least he's mentioning me now and every word out of his mouth is not An Rah Rah.
Oh, and every time I give him a stuffed animal, he loves it. I gave him
Curious George for Christmas and he was starting to want to take it
with him when he went places. But Rebecca took it away because it has
hard eyes and it had ripped. So I got him Ernie (from "Sesame
Street"--no hard anything) and gave it to him for Valentine's Day, and
she said he sleeps with it. So, Dum Dum or not, I make him happy.:)
Honestly, I think it started out as Num Num. One day not too long ago I
met them at Salvation Army and Rebecca asked him if he wanted to go
home with me. He put his finger to his mouth and said, "Num num." (He
knows if he's with me he's going to be eating.) Then I think that just
gradually turned to Dum Dum.
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on December 1, 2007 at 1:30 PM
The other day I was playing a Hanson Christmas CD in the car when I was taking my eighteen-month-old grandson, Jonathan, home. He kept putting his hands over his ears or pulling his ears down and making funny faces.
So when I was getting him out of his seat, I said, "Jonathan, when you see Mommy, Grammy will say, 'Show Mommy what you think of Hanson,' and you put your hands over your ears, okay?" And I put my hands over my ears. I repeated it a couple of times to make sure he would remember.
When we were going up the sidewalk and onto the porch he was putting his hands over his ears. I said, "No, wait till I ask you."
When the door opened both my daughters, Rebecca (Jon's mom) and Rachel, were standing there. So I asked Jonathan to show them what he thought of Hanson, and he obediently put his hands over his ears.
It was so funny. I couldn't believe he'd do it, but he did! His daddy will be proud that he hates Hanson.:)
But as for me and MY house, Hanson rules! Okay, not my WHOLE house--mainly just my girls and me.
Speaking of things I have taught Jonathan, I taught him to plug things into the wall sockets, and he plugged in an iron and made a big iron-shaped burn on the carpet; and I taught him how the commode works, and he threw my remote control into it. So I am thinking I shouldn't try to teach him too much.
I did see a t-shirt I'd like to buy him though. It said: "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's." If only!
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on May 28, 2007 at 4:56 PM
I was very blessed to be your younger sister. I always felt that I was in the shadow of your wings. You protected me and guided me. You sheltered me and you led the way for me. You suffered and kept me from having to suffer. You were the lighthouse guiding my every step. If you knew something that needed knowing, you made sure I knew it too.
But you took the brunt of all the evil that surrounded us. You dragged me, sometimes kicking and screaming, into maturity.
I owe so much of what I was able to accomplish to you. I shudder to think of what would have happened to me if you had not been there. I honestly do not think I could have survived, let alone have any sort of normalcy to my life.
Honestly, it was as if you made footprints in the ground and I just absentmindedly followed along in them. Life was so, so, so much easier for me because of the good steps you took.
I will always honor you for being the strong, courageous, selfless sister you were for me. I think maybe you were my angel.
Did you ever know that you were my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you were the wind beneath my wings.
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on May 14, 2007 at 9:15 PM
Jonathan took nine steps for me today. He had taken two or three but no more. I was telling him how he could walk just like other people. I let him see me stand and then showed him I could walk. Then I told him he could do the same thing. And I stood him up and asked him to come to me. And he took nine steps before he sat down!
I figured we always get him to do things by showing him how to do them, so maybe it would work with walking too. And it did!
I took him straight to the pool to tell his mommy and Aunt Rachel. I told Rebecca I had good news and bad news and it was all the same news. Rachel said, "Somebody died but they're happy about it?" Rebecca said it WAS both good and bad news. She got to see him take three steps once when she hid in Rachel's closet to watch. He just won't walk for his mommy.
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on April 20, 2007 at 12:33 PM
I haven't talked about this but I went to a doctor (physician's
assistant, actually--Mary Ellen) on February 5 who suggested I use Singulair. She said I might get off Serevent and Azmacort.
I thought she was crazy, but I tried it. It immediately helped my
allergies, which was great, and I soon was breathing through my nose
all the time.
Mary Ellen told me to try tapering off Serevent first--in five days. I did that and used my last Serevent
on February 24. When I felt comfortable with that (it was scary and
sometimes I thought I couldn't breathe, but I did my breathing
exercises and checked my meter and the meter said I was okay and the
exercises calmed my breathing), I started cutting back on Azmacort. On March 24 I used my last Azmacort.
And here it is April 20 and I am on a 10-mg Singulair
a day. It is so cool to get up in the morning and not have to take
medicine, and it is so cool to take only one tiny pill at night, and it
is so cool not to have to use inhalers, and it is so cool to be off a
I am very grateful to Mary Ellen and for Singulair. I also know that
the lifestyle changes I have made have helped a lot too. I thank God
for His mercy.
Anybody reading this who might be interested in the breathing exercises I do (which are WONDERFUL), let me know and I will guide you to the appropriate person.
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on March 22, 2007 at 12:47 PM
Rachel and Michael and Robert and I went to Angleton on Saturday (St. Patrick's Day) for Felicia's wedding. Felicia is my friend Debbie's daughter. We had a wonderful time and it was great to see old friends. Here are Felicia, Rachel, and me.
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on March 2, 2007 at 5:08 PM
My grandson Jonathan is now nine months old. He is climbing up and walking around things. He can say no (of course), huh-uh (same as no), and also mama, dada, and yaya. I thought I wanted him to call me grammie but since he can say yaya maybe I'll pick that.:)
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on March 2, 2007 at 5:05 PM
March 1, 2007, was my fifty-fifth birthday. I had a wonderful day.
My daughter Rachel gave me a big rice bag she made (she also made a sleeve for it
so it won't burn me) so I can heat it in the microwave and put it on my
back when it hurts. She and
her husband, Michael, also got me an aloe vera plant. (I gave mine away to my friend Kierca before I left
Kentucky because I was afraid the trip would destroy it.)
My daughter Rebecca and her husband, Robert, got me a cute little glass thingie that
says, "I finally got it all together and now I can't remember where I
put it." They also got me a DVD called "Return to Me."
My son Aaron got me the DVD "Secondhand Lions." I've seen that one but I love it.
My son Seth wasn't here so he didn't get me anything, but he called me.
My sister Lucy gave me a pair of pants, two slips, a book called
A Spoonful of Sugar for Women. She also got me two boxes of candy.
sister Willie got me a blue skirt with different layers and slits and
stringy thingies. It's cotton and very pretty. She also got me a yellow
blouse to go with it.
My sister Deane got me three very pretty blouses and two pairs of pink socks.
My sister Jodi called me.
Mommer, my ex-mother-in-law, sent me $20.
My husband, Robert,
got me a thing to put on my computer that makes the signal stronger. I
really needed that because where my computer is, the signal is weak. So
during the day I have been getting on his computer, which apparently
sits at a better signal. And he also got me one of those things that
you put in a chair that has a massager on it.
Rebecca baked me a cake and put fifty-five pink candles on it. I blew them out in two tries.
the book Lucy got me Bill Cosby says, "Old is always fifteen years from
now." And George William Curtis says, "Age is a matter of
feelings...not of years." So I think I am still very young.
I make such a big deal of it but my birthday has always been
very important to me. When I was younger I'd start talking about it two
months before it came. Part of why I love it is that it's the first day
of March and the winter is about to be over and spring, with all its
new beginnings, is about to come.
I really think that the year
shouldn't end in the dead of winter. It should begin with spring. How
does it make any sense for the year to end just as as winter is
starting? I think March, April, and May should be spring; June, July,
and August should be summer; September, October, and November should be
fall; and December, January, and February should be winter. Doesn't
that make more sense?
Posted by moonbeamsnowflake on August 25, 2006 at 2:48 PM
What makes you happy? I'm not asking about big, important things--like knowing your children
are healthy and doing well spiritually. That makes us all happy. What I
want to know is what kinds of little things make you feel good inside
and smile on the outside?
Mine is socks. I love socks. They keep me warm and that is important,
but I like fun socks that make me smile--like my Care Bear socks or my
Popeye socks or my Snoopy socks that have a little Snoopy head that
comes out of the back of my shoes and stares backward as I walk.
Yes, I know it's August. And, yes, I have on socks.
Oh, that reminds me of a funny story about me and my socks. When I went
into labor with my first child a guy was trying to find a vein to stick
a needle in and was having no luck. So he went downstairs and found my
niece, who was always good at that sort of thing. He said, "Will you go
upstairs and stick that crazy woman in the red socks." I wonder if my
niece already knew it was me before she found me--simply based on the
guy's accurate description.:)